Legend of Heroes III
Playstation Portable
Reviewed: 02/15/2007

Young Boy: “I have an adventurous spirit and love of music!”

Boy’s Grandpa: “I think his music sucks, but that’s part of my old-manish charm! Oh, hello! I’m his grandpa, who used to travel the world, but I think I may have one last adventure in me, despite what the townsfolk say….”

Cute, Underage Female Friend: “I like him, but I can never find the right moment to say so ;_; “

Boy’s Grandpa: “Holy crap, a note from my old friend, telling me that the world needs these magic stones of his.”

Young Boy: “So is he gonna give ‘em to us or…?”

Boy’s Grandpa: “Hell no, he says here he stuck them in caves and obscure places all over the world.”

Screen Shot
“And iiit is noww my duty to completely drain youuuu~”

Young Boy: “Cool! …Wait, what? Does he think he’s in every cliché RPG plot of all time?”

Boy’s Grandpa: “Oh it doesn’t stop there, my retarded grandson. We’re also going to need this magic map.”

Heath Hindman: “Sounds like we’re going on an adventure. Be prepared, folks: this will involve a fairly boring battle system and dialogue translation that ends up unintentionally hilarious.”

Young Boy: “Who are you?”

Heath Hindman: “I’m from the future, bitch. And watch out–people are typing everything you say. Not just that, but sometimes they get homonymns mixed up and put quotation marks in grammatically incorrect places. Now then, get along on your adventure.”

Screen Shot
Blow up the outside, blow up the outside, blow up the outside woorrrrrrrrld!

Cute, Underage Female Friend: “(Maybe I’ll finally get a chance to expose myself to him….)”

Heath Hindman: “Yeah, it’s gonna take you entirely too long.”

Young Boy: “Huh?”

Heath Hindman: “Nothing. Enjoy the game!” *Exits*

Boy’s Grandpa: “Let’s also hone our musical skills on this trip, like we’re a traveling band, because maybe this game’s music will be the highlight feature!”

All: “Yeah!”

-Heath Hindman

Score Breakdown
Overall
Bad
Out of 10
See our Review Criteria
Gameplay Below Average
Story Horrible
Graphics Great
Sound/Music Very Good
Replay Value Offensive
The Verdict: 3