This is serious business, kids, so please shut the hell up and listen. It was recently revealed that NIS is porting Disgaea to the PSP, and that NIS America was kind of hoping to publish the sucker in North America. So Heath had a meeting with NIS America localizers to see what the deal was; for dramatic effect, this meeting took place deep within the Brazilian rainforest.

Heath Hindman, RPGLand.com What the hell?

Nippon Ichi Software America Well you see, Hell, or HL, is the primary monetary unit in the netherworlds. Without it, the economy would be unbalanced, and tidal waves would rock the polar ice caps. And I think we all know what that leads to...

Heath Hindman, RPGLand.com But seriously, what's the obstacle in your bringing it over?

NIS America Well it's not really an obstacle, but we’re trying to determine how much demand is out there in the market. It’s obviously not cheap to localize a game; therefore, we need to be sure a game would actually succeed here in the States. Also, to clear things up, Sony actually is supportive about 2D games. Some people have the misconception that Sony dislikes 2D and prefers 3D, but that is not true.

Heath Hindman, RPGLand.com If it came over to North America, which of the following would Disgaea Portable rock off of me? Will it rock off my: -socks?

NIS America You're socks will definitely be rocked off, unless you have those creepy socks that are like gloves, you know with the toe-thingies. Eww!

Heath Hindman, RPGLand.com My Pants?

NIS America Your pants probably won't be rocked off, at least until the first bust-up of Etna. Then, who knows...

Heath Hindman, RPGLand.com My face?

NIS America When you reach your first Item God and steal his equipment, your skeleton will crawl out of your mouth, ruining your carpet in the process.

Heath Hindman, RPGLand.com My awesome?

NIS America It will not rock your awesome, as Disgaea Portable can only boost your awesome with its own awesome.

Heath Hindman, RPGLand.com Game after game, Etna and Flonne remain so damn hot. This is not an interview question.

NIS America I, too, am worried about how recent increases in Start to Crate values are threatening to destabilize the regions around British Columbia. This is not an answer.

Heath Hindman, RPGLand.com I know I sometimes exaggerate, but I'm sure that I would buy at least 500 copies of Disgaea Portable if it came to America. Assuming I'm buying a few (hundred) more than the average Joe, how many copies would you expect to sell?

NIS America Well with the data, you gave us we're assuming to sell 500.

Heath Hindman, RPGLand.com Scenario: I'm being hunted by both the Alien AND Predator. How will Disgaea Portable save my life?

NIS America Just pop the Disgaea UMD into your Wrist-Mounted Hard-Light Hologram Projector (you know, a WMHLHP), and you can use your Disgaea Portable inventory to fight them off. Of course, Makai Kingdom is better suited for this kind of thing, but Disgaea Portable will still get you through it. Just stay away from Terminators...

Heath Hindman, RPGLand.com When I come home from a hard day of work and the wife "has a headache," will Disgaea Portable rub my shoulders and make me a sandwich?

NIS America Disgaea Portable will never make anyone a sandwich. It knows you're just trying to give it demeaning tasks to perform.

Heath Hindman, RPGLand.com Follow-up to that question: for the unwed, will Disgaea Portable help one get chicks (or dudes, depending on who we're talking about)?

NIS America If Disgaea Portable doesn't score you some action, you're either not trying or hopeless.

Heath Hindman, RPGLand.com Can I get an NISA employee to imitate Sam Jackson and read this into a webcam and post online: "I've had it with these @#$%&*@#$%ing ports on this @#$%&*@#$%ing PSP."

NIS America Hmmm... That's a tough one. We'll have to see if we have anyone worthy enough to imitate Sam Jackson.

Heath Hindman, RPGLand.com Okay, you've asked fans for support in order to be able to bring this over. What can people do to help get this game in our stores?

NIS America Forum posts on major sites really helps. Also, another thing you can do is to spread the word that Disgaea is coming for the PSP. Thanks for the help everybody!

I think it's safe to say this was the greatest interview of all time. Hats off to NIS America's localization team members for helping us understand the situation with Disgaea Portable.

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