Heath Hindman: If you feel this letters column is a lot like something you’ve read before, it’s because you did. But that was like, in 2003. Psh, I’m not even explaining any further. Oh snap, is that Cortney Stone!? Cortney Stone: When Heath first asked me to co-host Q&A, my response was, “Are you trying to drive off your readership?”

Then it dawned on me. “What readership?”

Seriously, it’s great to be back on the game news/reviews scene after essentially dropping out of it several months ago when I left “that other RPG site.” Since then, I’ve landed a spiffy real-life job in the non-profit sector, and I’ve joined another site called RandomNPC.com. Heath believes that there should be peace and camaraderie among all the sites, and since I’m a yellow-bellied liberal pacifist, I agree. Some may be content in egotistical grudge matches based on Alexa rankings — and I admit that at one point I got caught up in it too — but it’s just better if we work beside each other and focus on serving our readership.

Real Role PlayingSo if everyone on RPGLand’s staff was a job class from the Final Fantasy universe, like Tactics or FFXI, or a usual MMORPG or something, who would be what job class? Aaron

Heath: Janelle Hindman: I know she always liked to take the role of a thief in these types of games, but in practice at RPG Land, she’d be a White Mage (Or “Priestess”) for sure. In nerd terms, she’s been casting Cure on some older pages lately for one thing, and just having the gal around makes the place run smoother.
Phil Clayton: Definitely a ninja. Fast at what he does, and does a lot of stuff you can’t even see…till it’s TOO LATE!
Orie House: I dunno, what class has a huge beard? Ah yes, he’d be an excellent Black Mage!
Joey Janowski: Thief because I stole him from another (now-dead) website.
Quinton Alexander: Something dealing with mixing stuff up. Chemist. Alchemist? Something.
Michael Wayland: Knight. Being from Texas, he’s a biiig dude, so I can only picture him doing something centered on physical attacks.
Jacob Fernandez: The radio guy? Bard, naturally.
Tim Wilson: Um, red mage?
Me: Dragoon (or “Lancer”). I say this because I like to jump off of things, Freya was my favorite character in FFIX, and Janelle recommended it. Cortney: Janelle Hindman: Paladin. She has a valiant heart.
Phil Clayton: Red Mage, definitely. Enfeebling his foes and supporting his friends with precise spells for every situation.
Orie House: Orie always seemed like a quick fellow, so he’d be a Thief.
Heath Hindman: Ninja, though not a typical stealthy one. He’d be an annoying show-off ninja who’s all “HEY GUYS! WATCH THIS!” then he’d run sideways on walls or something while picking Pepsi cans off a fence with shuriken. (I don’t know any of the rest very well, but here goes…)
Joey Janowski: Samurai.
Quinton Alexander: Black Mage.
Michael Wayland: Monk.
Jacob Fernandez: Bard.
Tim Wilson: Warrior.

Will IX Still Earn a 9?I think Dragon Quest IX will be fine even if the multiplayer is still turn based. I think you are over reacting. What people need to remember is that this is Dragon Warrior/Dragon Quest that we’re talking about, not just any old series. DQ has never let us down and SquEEnix is simply makes the best games on the market today. I’m sure it will be fine and people will love it.

Cortney: Well, even SE puts out some less-than-stellar stuff at times. But I still think DQIX looks great, and I’m looking forward to playing it with my friends. Really, I’m curious about how they’ll handle online-turn-based gameplay — if you can abort the battle or skip a turn if someone won’t enter their command. Heath: I thought it looked better as an action RPG, because the turn based multiplayer has been done before, and it seems to always degenerate into the most experienced player just telling the other(s) what command to put in. With multiplayer, I like the faster, action-type suff better. I’m not saying Dragon Quest IX will suck or anything, just that I’m slightly more cautious.

Problems Unfixed RPGLand, I saw you guys gave Hoshigami Remix a 4. So it’s still bad? I’m sorry I wrote a previous letter making you waste your time talking about it.
Nicholas

Heath: The updates/improvements made to Hoshigami within Remix were like giving a quadriplegic use of one leg. Man, I need to copyright that. If I ever write a second opinion review of Hoshigami Remix, you can count on that sentence being the entirety of the text. Cortney: I have avoided Hoshigami in all its forms. Discretion is the better part of valor, or however that goes.

Why can’t we be friends? Heath, Even with a few upcoming PSP games with big hype I just can’t see it reaching the DS’ level of popularity or respect. It’ll take at least another year, if not two. What do you think?

Truly,
A sceptical reader

Heath: For refence, audience, this letter was sent like 2 months ago, before a few great PSP games were released, so our friend here might or might not have changed his or her tune by now. Anyway… I think the “war” really should have never existed in the first place. The DS and PSP are both great handhelds and both have plenty of quality titles. The machines themselves are entirely different, as are most of their respective exclusive games. The PSP has Brave Story and Jeanne d’Arc, while the DS is getting DQIX and FFXII: Revenant Wings; the DS uses neat touchscreen mechanics while the PSP boasts prettier graphics, and so on and so forth. They’re both good for different things, and I proudly support them both.

Cortney: I adore my DS, but the PSP has finally tempted me to the point that I’ve decided to pick one up soon. I can’t resist Valkyrie Profile, Jeanne d’Arc, and Crisis Core. I wanted a slim PSP, but impressions of it have been so negative. It’s too bad that Sony can’t slim up a handheld as well as Nintendo did.

I don’t think the PSP can ever catch up, but I do expect its popularity to rise. A year or two? Probably.

And out come the trolls so is wild arms 5 going to be the only game you cover? j/k!! :p nice stuff and rebeccas lookin hot!

Heath: Ha ho these are the letters that make me love doing letters. I am dumbfounded not only at the question being asked, but at the fact that…well…the fact that people actually say this stuff and publish it. And even if you don’t sign your letter…you do know that in the inbox, I can see the name from which this came, right? Oh, kids these days. Cortney: Veiled troll remark. Pseudosincere comment regarding site. Passing comment regarding aesthetic quality of a female character. Sense of false security in an anonymous internet bubble.

Hmm, I shall respond in kind.

Saccharine pleasantries. False gratitude for the letter. Generic response regarding balanced game coverage. Moderate fangirling over Wild ARMS 5.

Lukewarm invitation to write in at a later date. Flippant gender-based remark that questions the author’s sexual orientation due to the overzealous exclamation regarding a female character’s appearance, as a snarky parting shot.

Heath: Also, I thought Fearless was supposed to be Jet Li’s last movie. That’s what all the advertisements said, right? That’s what I recall, But now “War” is out with him and Turkish, which I think is nice, but on the other hand, it also would have been nice to not be lied to by marketing people. Cortney: My answers were so boring. I mean, sobering. Yeah.

-This letters column was not Heath Hindman‘s last martial arts epic.
-There’s an unassuming random NPC in this town named Cortney Stone. Talk to her for a fetch quest.

Send letters to rpgletters@gmail.com or lose your legs trying.