Total Death Count: 2
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Final Fantasy X Journal

We began Final Fantasy IV not knowing what it would bring us. It brought us the bittersweet combination of better translation, cooler battle system, and tougher enemies. Read on to see how we fared.


As I had to solo this one, Orie probably won’t be making an appearance. Unless he really feels he has to. Anyways. Things started off swimmingly, the standard life-being-turned-upside-down-by-some-ultimate-evil plot starting out as per usual. “Famous Blitzball Star Sucked up by Giant Water Ball” the headlines would say. If there was actually a city left. I’m certain you’ve played Final Fantasy X, so I’ll spare the details. Unless you haven’t played Final Fantasy X, in which case why are you reading this you poor, depraved person? Go buy it, it’s like $20. Anyways.

“Hey look, ruins! Wait, how’d I get here?” is the question of the day as Tidus wakes up in the middle of, what else? Ruins. A THOUSAND YEARS INTO THE FUTURE. Wow. That’s some crazy stuff there. He gets attacked by a giant fish thingy, goes inside the ruins, lights a fire, gets attacked by some other thing, then is rescued by the first plucky heroine, Rikku. Yay! They end up on a boat, I eat some corn dogs, then they go swimming and afterwards get attacked by the aforementioned ultimate evil. Tidus wakes up on an island.

One thing I’ll say here and now is that some of the voice acting in this game is kinda grating. Tidus, Wakka, and Yuna get on my nerves quite a bit. Otherwise it’s all groovy. Anyways, island. Right. Tidus shows off his elite skillz to the Besaid Aurochs, the worst blitzball team ever, and they instantly want him on the team, nevermind that he’s raving about being a member of the Zanarkand Abes, a team that hasn’t existed in a thousand years. Nobody bothers to get him psychologically tested before sticking him on the team. Why is this? Probably because psychiatry isn’t practice in an age where everybody fears impending attack from an unstoppable evil, known only as ‘Sin.’ You KNOW it’s evil with a name like that.

Hey look, it’s Valefor! And Yuna… And Lulu and Kimahri. Almost the whole team. Yay! Anyways, they do stuff on the island of Besaid before heading to Kilika island, which gets attacked by Sin, and some other things happen, involving a temple and another summon. Whee. Afterwards, off to Luca, where everybody thinks Tidus will find someone he knows there, as they still think he’s got amnesia from Sin’s toxin. Why would a toxin cause instant amnesia? Your guess is as good as mine. I’d rather emit something that makes your feet gradually wither and eventually fall off. Now THAT would be evil. Anyways.

There was a Blitzball tournament here, which was totally conquered despite the kidnapping of one Summoner Yuna. Afterwards there was an attack by a bunch of stuffs, and hey look! It’s AURON! Yay. The party, already kicking enough ass as it is, is bolstered by this total POWERHOUSE. I should make it known now that Auron is my favorite character in the game.

Afterwards, we go along a road, defeat a chocobo eater, and help the Crusaders still get their butts handed to them by Sin. ‘Twas a sad, sad day for those poor people. But we did get to use Seymour for a brief moment, who is totally and one hundred percent evil. I could tell the moment he stepped off the boat in Luca.

A quick pitstop at the Djose temple to pick up Ixion, and it’s off to the Moonflow to have Yuna kidnapped by another robot and subsequently rescued. Then Rikku jumps into the party, and gives us the ability to add abilities to equipment. Hurrah! ‘Tis about this time that I feel obligated to rest my weary body, after partaking in more corn dogs, and awaken a few hours later to more Final Fantasy X.

Guadosalam, here we come! After Seymour’s proposal to Yuna (Don’t do it Yuna! He’s EVIL!) and various other things involving dead people, it’s off to the thunder plains. I can never get the hang of dodging that lightning. Accursed lightning. Anyways, afterwards the Macalania woods made itself a slight obstruction to our progress. And a giant blob monster. Spherimorph!!! *shakes fist angrily* He was, however, dispatched summarily, in no small part thanks to the arcane efforts of the resident Black Mage, Lulu. Yay Lulu!

Another Al Bhed attack later, and then through the Macalania temple to fetch us some Shiva. And… *gasp* Seymour! You evil, evil man! We fight him, we stomp him, then leave, ending up at the bottom of a frozen lake because of a Wendigo. The meanie. Then afterwards, for apparently NO reason, everybody gets transported to an island. Tidus wakes up at an oasis. It’s a desert island. Not to be confused with dessert island, which would have been far more enjoyable. Mmm… Chocolate…

After wandering through the desert for what seems like FOREVER, the intrepid party finds Home. No. It’s not Besaid island, or Zanarkand. It’s a city, called Home. The Al Bhed live in it. THEY call it home. Clever, eh? Oh wait. It got exploded! OH NOEZ! Wait, there’s Cid! With… AN AIRSHIP! Gasp! Shock! Awe! The wonderful super ultra mega ship! Well, not really. It just flies. That’s really all that needs to be known. It’s also got a full missile battery capable of leveling a city. Which it ended up doing. Oh yea. During all of this, actually quite a ways back, Yuna got kidnapped, and is being forced into a wedding. By a dead man!

Yeah. Seems dead people can just come back to life at will in the crazy world of Spira. Makes no sense to me, really, but there you have it. Anyways, this wedding ended up getting crashed, Yuna jumped off a building, then everyone ran into a temple to fetch some Bahamut. Whee! Oh wait, everybody gets captured immediately afterwards? Snap.

There was a fight with some zombie dragon thingy, and another summoner, but those were both cake. Mmm. Cake. After the gang regroups, it’s time to fight Seymour Natus and Mortibody. He was also cake. Well, he was a bit of trouble, but really not much at all. Afterwards, we were off… To CONQUEST! I mean… Calm Lands! Well. Sleep. THEN Calm Lands!

I had a birthday party to host on Tuesday (turned 19 on Sunday), so beyond clearing the Calm Lands and NOT stopping for Yojimbo, nothing much was done.

Mount Gagazet was a fairly simple climb, although Seymour Flux + Mortibody = eVil with a capital V. Why the V? I don’t know. Anyways, this resulted in the first death. That damned Seymour Flux and Mortibody. Afterwards I got my act together, and beat him up to pieces. STAY DEAD THIS TIME, LOSER! Gah. Damned dead people that won’t die. Anyway… Onward… To conquest! Or maybe a cave and then a dragon and then to Zanarkand. Zanarkand was went through, and several Behemoths were summarily slain. Whoo. Then it was on to Yunalesca, the boss that just doesn’t freaking DIE. Until I killed her. Barely.

It was now time for the final dungeon, to face THE FINAL BOSS. Actually, there was a short detour to go pick up Anima, because the rest of the game is totally easy with Anima. As if it weren’t easy enough as it was. Things were also expedited by the lucky drop of a weapon for Rikku with No Encounters on it by Geosgaeno.

NOW it was time for the final dungeon. We pop in on Sin, to find that he’s got lots of things to stab on his outsides so we could get into his insides. So we do that. Then we progress into Sin’s apparently very well-developed innards. You can… Walk around. And not suffocate. And there are treasure chests. And ruins. What. The. Hell. And… Seymour! NOOOO! Why you not die so easily?! Sonuva. Well. After this fight he is FINALLY killed for good. Then it’s on to the final boss! Sort of. Wait… It’s… Jecht, Tidus’s father! A fact that was revealed to us near the beginning of the story, leaving no room for surprising plot hooks this late in the game! NOOOO!

After the two fights with Jecht, it was time for the final, FINAL boss. Preparing for the worst, the intrepid team ventured in, expecting something even tougher than Yunalesca. What we found was… A boss… That… Revives you? Wait. Isn’t the final boss supposed to be ridiculously difficult and so much harder than any other boss in the game? Yet you can’t die! Well. That was that, then. Final Fantasy X was defeated. And so was the entire Megathon. Woot.