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Kid with dumbass shopping habits overcomes IGACWUS, blogs about it

By Heath | October 4, 2009 at 5:56 am

The consumer world is one populated by douchebags. Even at times, good folks like you and I may find ourselves being totally retarded, only to realize much later, if ever, that we had been involved in some high level douchery. But friends, for your own good, please, when you find yourself in that epiphany…don’t blog about it. Mark Melnychuk could use this lesson, as he posts on Kombo about what a consumer whore he was.

In this facepalm of a post, he marvels at the wonder of — wait for it — buying games that he hasn’t preordered. I know, amazing, isn’t it? Who would have ever thought that someone can…go shopping and…buy a game…without reserving it first. He opens his eyes to reality and says, “I decided to buy all my holiday games without preordering any of them. The outcome surprised me, as I was able to buy Gears of War 2, Rock Band 2, and Prince of Persia on day one and with no reserves.”

Wow, ya think? I have to wonder, where the hell does this guy live? Maybe I’m being too hard on him. Maybe, amid any stores that sell games within a half-hour radius of him, there would only be two or three copies of a given game available. I’m from a fairly rural area myself, and even though we only had one very small GameStop, some K-Marts, and a couple of Wal-Marts around (depending which direction you’d drive), I never once had trouble picking up any game, reserved or not, be it on launch day or any other day.

He further notes, “…(R)eserving a game is burned right into the shopping habits of consumers. If you want a game, reserve it, right?”
Um, no? What the hell are you talking about? Perhaps it becomes clear when he states, “(Retail clerks) sigh after I tell them I have irresponsibly not reserved the game….” Ah. There’s a case of IGACWUS (pronounced “Ee-Gah-Kwus”) here, or “Imaginary Guilt of Awkward Consumer Whore University Students” as it’s known in the medical world.

Really, it sounds like this whole article takes place in a different country with an entirely different culture than any I’m familiar with as an American who has lived on both coasts. Doesn’t matter if we’re talkin’ about Halo, Madden, Final Fantasy, or Metal Gear: I feel like I always see copies sitting on shelves somewhere, if not EVERYwhere, on Day One. Yet here sits this article issuing a “challenge,” as if it’s something revolutionary — as if Mark doesn’t realize his compulsive pre-ordering had actually placed him in the minority.

The only times I’ve felt compelled to reserve a game are when A) There’s a bonus I feel worthwhile given for pre-orders, or B) There’s actually a chance the store might not get any copies of the game at all. The only copy of Hoshigami, for example, that came anywhere near me was the one I reserved at my small-ass Gamestop. Yeah, I reserved Hoshigami back in the day. Maybe I’m actually the bigger douchebag here. Sorry about all this, Mark. I probably owe you a Coke.

Topics: Editorials, Hoshigami, Humor